Remember

Memorial Day?
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THE NEWS GOES TO A CHOIR PARTY
Once or twice a year, the White Memorial Presbyterian Church (USA) choir gets together for a fling.
Last Thursday, that fling was a backyard picnic.
Hidden from public view, and without benefit of clergy or choir directors, more than forty
members of the choir gathered behind Dale Hollar's extensive estate. By posing
as a non-singing spousal equivalent, our reporter was able to attend this event and put
together a portfolio of prohibited photos. We reveal them for the first time on this page!
Every arriving female guest was immediately accosted by the official "greeter"---Marvin
Speck. This harmless activity seemed to be appreciated by most of the ladies, with little or no
reaction from their accompanying husbands.
Just prior to the expensively catered dinner, a pause fell over the crowd,. There wasn't a
single qualified minister present to administer "grace." Realizing this, Alan Donaldson,
(who had already grabbed a snack from the groaning board) offered a brief old Scottish
prayer that included a lot of "hae"s and "gie"s. The crowd loved it.
And then they ate! Before a beautifully stocked table full of gourmet delights from the finest
kitchens in Raleigh, guests lined up to select from among 8 salads, 5 meats, 2 breads,
6 vegetables, 3 desserts, and 15 gallons of iced tea. Most participants found it difficult to refuse any of these
tasty offerings.
Dinner was followed by animated conversation: choir anecdotes, grandchildren stories,
travel plans...a few religious references. Liz Dean, soprano, even tried to raise
her voice in song.
It was finally over. In twos and threes, the crowd paid their respects to host Dale Hollar
(right) and drifted off into the night, -returning to the workaday world of Raleigh's churched
and unchurched--without a song.
THE POLAND PLACE PUZZLE: NUMBER FOUR
Just to remind you, here's last week's puzzle:
In the garage behind his house, Bill keeps three big boxes. One of the
boxes is labeled "Apples", another one "Lemons" and the last one "Apples
and Lemons". The only thing Bill knows is that none of the labels is
correct! How could Bill correctly re-label all the boxes, if he is only
allowed to take out ONE object from ONE of the boxes and look at it?
Click here to see the solution!
In a vote of confidence for kinder, gentler, puzzles, a total of nine subscribers answered our
puzzle, with at least five of them bordering on correct solutions. "Fruit," "Smell Them,"
and "What difference does it make" were not considered adequate. J.D Holder from
Wilmington sent the first correct response at 6:57 on Monday morning.
J.D. will receive his valuable prize someday quite soon. And, again, we congratulate every
one of our contestants for playing the game--however poorly.
This week we're offering another challenge, at a similar degree of difficulty:
On the table in front of you you can see ten bags filled with ten coins
each, but the coins in one of the bags are all fakes. The only thing
known about a fake coin is the fact that its weight differs by exactly
one gram from the weight of a valid coin (which is an integer number
greater than 0), but not whether it is heavier or not.
You are allowed
to use a one-plate scale which gives the weight in grams. If you're only
allowed to use this scale ONCE, how would you try to find the bag with
the fake coins?
As soon as you have the answer, click here
to send it our way. Winner will be determined by earliest date of receipt and all entrants
will receive a note of congratulations from our staff. Go for it. Now!
A POLAND PLACE NEWS MAGAZINE REVIEW

Article
You Can't Kill the Rooster by David Sedaris (From Esquire,
June 1998, p. 92)

David Sedaris, Raleigh writer and friend of Poland Place, has scored again with this
compassionate and uninhibited portrait of his little brother, Paul.
David takes us back to his North Hills Drive roots to demonstrate the relationship between
his totally irreverent brother and his adoring father--our friend Lou Sedaris. We
even get an Esquire picture of Paul and Lou.
David wrote a "serious" piece about morgues in a previous Esquire. In this one he
reverts to form and some of us like it a whole lot better.
BUMPER STICKER OF THE WEEK
On a Honda Civic in a Poland Place driveway last week:

WEB SITE OF THE WEEK
If your internet browsing keeps you inside at night, check out:
http://www.earthsky.com/Features/Skywatching
The folks who bring you "Earth and Sky" on the radio now offer a different lesson every day.
And, if you're really ambitious, you can journey outside, look towards the north, and check
their work.
SOCIAL NOTES
Paul Dean is visiting Poland Place this week, arriving for brief Mother's Day festivities on
Friday evening, attending a Saturday wedding (below), and visiting Oriental for two days at mid-week.
Paul brought us this picture of his newly-painted Baton Rouge home. He asked us to
mention that it's best if seen "in person"---the green is greener and the silver porch and
steps provide a nice "mothership" touch.
Editor Bob Dean and Proofreader Liz Dean spent the Memorial Day weekend at
Oriental, North Carolina. On Sunday they were joined by Inspector Bob Armstrong
and The Reverend Bobbie Armstrong. Every one of these titled
persons had a very nice time.

* * * * *
Dale and Michelle Flattum were married Saturday, at Vollis Simpson's Whirley Gig estate
in Wilson, North Carolina. Paul Dean and several other guests attended.

* * * * *
Nicole Brodeur, our N&O Correspondent, reported a rumor this week: Mayor Tommy
Fetzer may be getting married!
When Nicole asked two of his intimates what kind of person Mayor Fetzer would marry, Erla
Creech said "A very unusual person," while Kieran Shanahan responded that
"It's just not true."
Click here for the full text of Nicole's Column

* * * * *
E-MAIL TO THE EDITOR
"You put in the url wrong - you left out the e in central. Pat"
-- DelilahPTH@aol.com {Thanks to our goof, Pat
Holly still hasn't sold her house. So we're repeating the corrected url this week.} It's:
http://www.centralPA.com

* * * * *
"I am still puzzling over the puzzle. But, I always thought it was apples
and oranges that went together. You're adding the lemons has really confused me."
--kittypick@aol.com
* * * * *
THE COMIC SECTION


Animated graphics courtesy of
"Badger's Animations"
© Bob Dean, 1998
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